Stop, Heeeeeey, What's That Soooound...

That, dear readers, would be the soothing sounds of your friendly (yet frustrated) neighborhood Tech Support Agent. LISTEN... TO... THEM!!

We ask you questions and give you information that is, contrary to popular belief, very important to you and beneficial to getting the issue you called in about resolved. Which is why you called in, in the first place, right??

Now, while we do have certain things we have to say to every customer who calls, the rest of it is pertinent information to you and your individual situation. So when we ask a question, please, please, please, please listen to us?

Example:

The customer who calls has one TV that is showing nothing but snow on it.

Me: Okay, Ms. Customer, now... is this the only TV that is experiencing this problem?

Ms. Customer: No, the one in the bedroom's fine!

Ummmm... right.

Breakdowns in communication (i.e. you not listening to us) also lead to customers asking questions about things we've already stated as clearly as humanly possible. So if the baby is crying and the dog is barking, the family is expecting dinner on the table or your favorite show or sports team is on the TV -- STOP and think before you call? We devote our time to you! Sure, it's what we get paid for, but when we have to repeat ourselves or ask if you're still on the other end of the phone-line because you've had to mute us to yell at Bubba or keep the dog who's barking at absolutely nothing from deafening us?? It doesn't help us, which means it's far more difficult for us to help you. Big tip?? Most tech support lines that include such important things as telephone services nationwide should be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call when the kids are in bed, the dog is in the backyard, dinner is finished, and you have the time and attention span to pay attention to US as much as we pay attention to YOU.

Oh... and that call from your cousin or your best bud coming in on the other line?? It can wait!! Seriously!! This is why you have voice-mail... They won't pass out or lose a limb or the ability to see or hear because they've had to leave you a message while you deal with tech support. Asking to put me on hold for "a sec" to answer the other line or ask me to hold on while you answer the "cliche dog bark" on your phone because your sister/uncle/BFF/etc. is calling... only to TELL them you have to call them back because you're talking to tech support?!? This wastes my time as well as yours. When they get voice-mail, it's IMPLIED that you will call them back when you're able to. Hence, the typical message on voice-mail (or an answering machine) states something along the lines of "...unable to answer the phone blah, blah, blah.... leave a message and i'll call you back..."

So next time you're on the phone with an issue that was important enough for you to call me while you make dinner, banging and crashing dishes around and the kids yell and scream in the background... Don't act like I'm asking you to perform miracles when I ask you to walk across the room to look at something that is going to HELP me fix this oh-so-important issue (God forbid the kids can't watch Barney or Dora or you miss American Idol) you've called me for and then expect me not to be inwardly peeved when you ask me to "hang on a sec" so you can answer a call from your mother/son/spouse/significant other only to tell them you can't chit-chat right now because you're talking to tech support.

Cuz I WILL be peeved. You won't know it, but I'll be making faces at you and making rude gestures at my screen if you tick me off too much with stupidity and ignorance. And you other tech support geeks?!? Don't EVEN act like you've never done this, because you have. Maybe not the rude gestures, but you've made that face. You've rolled your eyes or stuck your tongue out at the screen or even done that silent facepalm as you shook your head. I know you have!! It's human nature - you can't stop it.

So the moral of this story is:

You expect us to listen to you, the least you can do is listen to us.

Thanks for tuning in, dear readers... sorry it's been so long between posts, I've been sick. :(

But I'm back!!

Until next time!!

Lis

Lunacy!!

Tonight, dear readers, I've heard it all... well, until tomorrow anyway...

You know all the jokes about Indian people and tech support? Well, it's not always true. I had to help an Indian gentleman work on his computer this evening! He had connection but then couldn't browse the internet. Come to find out it was a setting in his browser that kept UNSETTING itself when he would reboot his computer! So, all-in-all I'd done my end of the call and made sure he was connected to the internet, but when it came to his browser and computer being the issue with it all... he didn't want to believe it. He kept trying to chalk it up to the internet and his connection. He finally asked for a supervisor when he didn't want to believe what I was telling him. I had to get him through to a supervisor so the supervisor could tell him what I was telling him. Wonder if he'll believe them??

The other call that went FAR FAR FAR to the side of sheer idiocy was a call I got for an internet customer self-install. Okay, so our customers can elect to do that if they so desire. Saves them the tech call and waiting around for someone all day to do the install. When they ask for the self-install though, you would hope that they would know what they were getting themselves into. Not so with my customer. I wound up walking her through every step except opening the box and taking the equipment out. I'm surprised I didn't have to do that too!

But, Lis, it couldn't have been that bad! C'mon... yer exaggerating!

Nope. I wish I was, readers.

I had to repeat myself more than that damn tractor pull announcer (Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!) and even try 4 times to explain what a WALL JACK was! Ya know... the jack in the wall where you plug the telephone in? Is it--? No, no ma'am, it's not in your computer... it's in the wall. Yes, the wall. No, it should be in that room along one of the walls. Right, right. Now the other end of that cord goes into the back of the modem. The modem. The box they sent you in the mail. Right. Not, not the computer, the modem. Right, the box they shipped you. Okay, now for the other cord. That one plugs into the back of your computer. No, not the wall, the back of your computer. Mmhmm... yes,the back. No, the back. Okay, I'll wait. Is it plugged into the back? Okay, good. Now the other end of that cable plugs into the modem. Right, the box. Didja get it? It won't go in? Do you have it turned the right way? Yes.... yes, ma'am, when it clicks then it's plugged in. Now, did you plug in the power cord? The power cord. So the modem has power? There should be a power cord in the box. Should be a small block on one end and a small round connection on the other end. Mmhmm.... it's going to plug into the back of the box. The round end gets plugged into the back... right, right... The other end? It plugs into a wall outlet. The wall outlet? So it gets energy? The wall out-- right. The plug end goes into the wall outlet. (As I hear the customer mumble to herself and then say DUH! Referring to herself.)

After that I only had to tell her 6 times that her internet wouldn't work tonight because we needed to send someone out to fix it.

I have another story, but I'll save that for tomorrow. Ya know... just in case tomorrow is a slow day. :)

Until tomorrow, dear readers!!

Thanks for tuning in!!

Lis

Same Old Same Old...

Welcome, dear readers, to another week of Tech Support.

The Quote of the Week so far?

"The economy just isn't awesome right now."

-- 50 year old customer on why she has to downgrade her services

Other than that, I've had the usual. Mispronunciations.... I still want to know what the ITHERnet is and how one manages not to stay connected to it. Ither, either, or the othernet??

I also want to know what drives people to smoke and eat into a customer service agent's ear. I'm trying to help you and when you can't hear me and I have to repeat myself because you're crunching on something too loudly? Inconsiderate. How would you like it if I was doing the same thing to you?

"*chomp chomp* Yeah, I need you to *chomp chomp slurp* reboot your *crunch chomp* computer for me."

Not nice is it? And when I can't get an answer out of you because you're taking a drink or a drag? Also counterproductive. It's not like we're going to be on the phone very long (relatively speaking)! You couldn't wait until we're finished with the call to do all this?? Or at least excuse yourself for a moment if you really need to take a drink?? C'mon, people!! Where the hell have manners gone?

I did have a few nice people so far this week! But I do have to stop them short when they call me an Angel or a Saint. I'm Tech Support, plain and simple. It's my job to handle the issue when you call in and if I do that to the best of my abilities, then it's an awesome feeling! I don't possess any miraculous powers or even magical abilities to fix your computer or reconnect your TV service. Heck!! Most of the time, you as customers actually do the fixing, I just tell you what steps to take based on what your problem is! I'm no Angel, and I seriously doubt there will ever be a Saint Lisa - Patron Saint of Tech Support, but thanks Mr./Ms. Customer for making me feel like one for a few fleeting moments. It does, indeed, brighten my day. (Just remember you said that when the all important survey comes around, folks!)

All is well in my little corner of the Tech Support world! If things go weird again, you can bet there'll be a blog post!!

Until next time!

*hugs!*

Lis

You're dumb -- PERIOD.

Oh, where to begin today?!?!

Let's start small... Companies need someone who knows how to use spellchecker. Plain and simple! It's ElecTromagnetic... not elecYromagnetic. A slip of the finger, sure, but enough to make an agent's brain skid to a halt while reading and momentarily slow them up while they decipher something the know they should know.

Best quote of the day:

Me: Okay, Sir, in your address bar (see previous rant) type in blah blah blah blah DOT yadda yadda yadda....

Customer: Okay. Blllaaahhh...... blah...... blah blah..... *long pause* Mumbling: Dot button? Where's the dot button? Then louder to me: Ummm... which button do I press to get the dot?

Yeah... that happened.

As a college student in an area like Berkley, sitting on the phone, mumbling and babbling at Tech Support at 8:30 at night -- pretty much marks you as awkward and lonely. And as a college student? Placing a CD into the CD-ROM drive of your laptop is not complicated!! Oh... and as a tech support agent? I really, REALLY don't care if you left your laundry downstairs and have to go get it. I like to create rapport with my customers, but that is TMI!! And when you tell me your modem is really hot all of a sudden... it's probably because you have it "sitting on a pillow" and telling me that just entertains me! As does being surprised that setting it on a pillow would heat it up!! And the final straw?? When you say "It has to sit on a flat, solid surface??". Yeah, this happened too.

And I've learned to believe members when they say they're not "tech savvy". Not being tech savvy means you don't know where to find the "back" button on your web browser. Not being tech savvy means you have NO clue how to use the, supposedly, super user-friendly Macintosh laptop you just got. Not being tech savvy.... is knowing when to thank your tech support agent for being so understanding and patient as she holds your hand through every single step of installation and registration. Thank you, Mr. Customer, for knowing that while I'm patient on the outside, inside I want to slap you out of the way and just do it all for you.

That is all..... for tonight.

Until next time, readers!

Lis

Tech Support is all about the Information...

...or MISinformation, such as the case may be.

Some of the things I've come across on calls lately really make me wonder about the human race. On the whole, people are intelligent enough to get through a conversation with a tech support representative and get their equipment back up and running. Then there are others...

And these are just a few of the examples I see every day.

The search bar of Bing and Google is not the address bar. When I ask you to type something into your address bar and you type it into your search bar it just makes the process take twice as long. Not only that, but I specifically tell you that the place I want you to type in the website address is the address bar at the very top of the web page. Now, I understand that people download extemporaneous toolbars and such which could also be at the top of their web browser, but you should definitely learn the difference between those and your address bar! How do you function on the internet without knowing something as simple as that??

Another thing? Just a tip, okay? If there's a cord running from your computer to a modem or router... then it's not wireless. If there's no cord running between your computer and your modem or router, then it's most definitely wireless and telling me otherwise, tends to muck up the troubleshooting process.

Oh... and a tip for the agents? If a customer calls in and tells you that, after plugging it into 16 different outlets in his home, that the modem doesn't have power -- then troubleshooting the modem BAU (business as usual) is a little, well... okay, I'll just say it: asinine!! Seriously? These people trust us with the fact that we're supposed to know what we're doing with their equipment and you've just made your credibility go right down the drain by trying to continue to work on a modem with no power, idiot! And another thing? Why would it even take 4 other people to fail at doing a job that 1 agent wound up doing in the end? That's ridiculous and unnecessary!!

*takes a deep breath*

Okay... enough for today!! Though, as long as I'm doing tech support there will always be more blogs and more fun! So stay tuned, dear readers! The fun is never ending!

Until next time...

Lis

There's no Crying in Tech Support!!

So.... I understand being upset that your services aren't working. I even understand being pissed off that your services aren't working. I understand telling me that you're sick and tired of hearing apologies and want actions. But bawling your eyes out because your internet is down?? Come, come now.... really?

I understand you live in the country. I even understand that you take care of your really elderly mother and need your VoIP phone which has been down because your internet is down. What I don't understand is the tears and dramatics you turn on when I answer the phone. If your services go down and half your house has been taken out in the process by a tree falling during a storm? THAT'S upsetting. If someone close to you dies and your services go down, for whatever reason, in the process of trying to let everyone know. THAT'S understandably upsetting!

But when your services go down leaving you without your VoIP phone and you call in on your cellphone, which you can also contact 911 on, crying is just a bit of overkill. Especially when I've reassured you that I will get something done about it and apologized for your previous experiences with my company. When I've told you that I will get to the bottom of your issue and do everything in my ability to get the situation rectified and you keep crying and crying?? I think there's something else going on beyond your internet being down. And if there's not, your dramatics are getting you nowhere faster than when it would if you were calm and not berating me for something I had no control over.

Matter of fact.... it's only slowing me down (a little) because I can't get a word in edgewise to ask the questions I need to ask to get your internet running again!! And all you can focus on is not your internet, but the fact that you've "had it!!" and just can't "take anymore!!". Know what? To the untrained ear that sounds like you're taking your frustrations about being stuck in the country taking care of your elderly mother, out on me. But what do I know? I'm just a Tech Support agent. I'm just here to handle your equipment and get your services running again.

At any rate... if you're frustrated and, for goodness sake, crying your eyes out over your services being down, take a tip from me? Calm down, gather yourself, and realize I'm just here to help you before you call in and take your really crappy life out on me? I'm just here to help!

Something I can't do until you can help me.

That's how I see it...

Until next time,

Lis

What Tech Support Means to Me (Lisa)

Tech Support... those two dirty words.  To some people it's a last resort and to some it's a crutch to lean on for every little ache and pain they may experience with ANY piece of "technology".  Ahhhh... technology.  There's another terrifying word.  Depending on what era you grew up in, it's either a blessing or a curse to you.  So put them together and what do you get?  Well... I, for one, get a headache.

Tech support is not a job that just anyone can do.  At times you have to have the patience of a Saint and others... well, no you really just need the patience of a Saint.  :)   A sense of humor helps, most definitely... and a dash of the ability to suspend reality and believe the occasional odd story.  Throw in a great deal of understanding and, if you ask most of our customers, (no offense meant to ANYONE) the ability to speak English well and you have the perfect tech support representative.

The perfect customer?  There isn't one.  The perfect customer would know what they were doing with their equipment, never have a problem, and never need to call tech support!  Well, okay... they will, eventually.... when/if their equipment dies.  Most customers have the standard, run-of-the-mill problems or they're calling in because their services have all died due to an outage in their area that they just don't know about yet.  And then you have the customers that this blog will be dealing with, for the most part.  The non-tech savvy, the techno-phobic  those who think they're tech savvy until they spew out a line of Greek that has nothing to do with their services (and/or technology in general), and even those who are tech savvy to the point of absurdity and think that we, as tech support, know far, far less then they do and surely we can't help them and they definitely need the next level of support.

Customers are those who give us such fun terms as "modium", "esthernet", and the concept of "intercepting" their equipment instead of installing it.  They're a source of income, but also an endless source of humor and entertainment on occasion.

But in the end, these are just definitions and descriptions.  What does tech support really mean to me?  It means helping someone, whether they know what they're doing or not, to not only understand why they don't have a certain service or services, but also that we're here to get them reconnected and their equipment running again.  It means listening to the customer, even if it takes them 30 minutes to tell you that their services have been intermittent for the past 24 hours.  It means lending an ear to a customer who's not necessarily upset with you or even your company, but is royally ticked at their spouse who set up the couple's equipment and connected their own laptop and then conveniently forgot the wireless password so the spouse could connect their laptop.  It means talking to someone's 12 year old son or daughter because they simply don't understand the technology like their child does.  It means taking an hour to reprogram a piece of equipment because the customer is in their 80's and they have to use a magnifying glass to read the buttons they need to press.

All-in-all?  It means customer service.  It means caring and understanding.  It means that at the end of the call that customer is happy and satisfied with the outcome of that call and the way you brought them to that outcome.  It MEANS supporting the customer... not the technology really.  It's called tech support because most customers probably wouldn't understand the title: Customer Support with an Emphasis on Technology.  And Customer Service is already taken.

So that's what Tech Support means to me - supporting the customer.

I thank you, new readers, for tuning in and reading our Blog.  I hope we can entertain and enlighten you about the world of Tech Support and bring you to howls and tears of laughter along the way.

Until next time!
Lisa