Well, dear readers, here we are with another blog entry. And what do we start with? The quote of the week!!
And this week's quote of the week? This one's a doozie!
"My internet don't be workin' neither!"
Now to deal with the issue of the day -- volume control.
Just because you can't hear me... doesn't mean I can't hear you. And vice versa, sometimes. Now, when you can't hear me, TELL me and I can adjust my mic to make sure you can hear me. Don't just start shouting at me! It's like shouting at foreigners or speaking slowly to the blind! It's counter-productive! And if I'M too loud, tell me and I can speak more softly, OR... now here's a thought, stay with me on this... TURN YER DAMN PHONE VOLUME DOWN!!
Now, turn about IS fair play... I've been on hold several times and the volume on my customer is fine, but then the hold music volume is BLARING!! And not only is it blaringly loud and threatening to deafen me, it sounds like bad 70's porn music! And I don't DARE turn it down for fear of missing when the person I'm trying to reach actually picks up the phone and doesn't care about their job, so they mumble their way through things. Now there have been a few times when the person on the other end of the phone (*cough*Sharon*cough*) is enthusiastic and always cheerful and adds to the throbbing of your eardrums by driving them straight into bleeding with their happy greeting! NOT that I'm complaining! I would take a THOUSAND of those cheerful people over one of the mumblers...but DAMN, people! Enthusiastic is one thing - deafening is another.
Now, to seguay into holding... Hold is of the devil most times... and at others can be a blessing. You call one time and get no hold music, you call another time and get a tune you know and/or like. Guess which hold lasts the shortest?! Of course! The one time you enjoy being on hold, it lasts the least amount of time and you get someone right away. The bad 70's porn music lasts forever and ever and ever....
And if they demand to speak to a supervisor?? They're going to be ticked at you, ticked at the company, ticked at the world, and most of all - transfer the anger to the Supervisor. Which can be, at times, a source of joy to the lowly grunts in tech support. We all just randomly smile for a moment and it's because somewhere a supervisor has withered under the anger of another customer put on hold for 45 plus minutes. It's like a fairy.... when someone doesn't believe a fairy dies. But at least you can clap and bring them back! Supervisors? Their souls wither more and more and the only thing that can revive even a small piece of their soul is a call giving an agent kudos for a job well-done! Even then it's a tiny piece. It's like stabbing a horcrux! A little piece of that soul dies....
Hold, leads to the customer who gives up. They give up because they're angry, they give up because they're tired, they give up because... well, you happened to get their call while they're driving somewhere. It's Tech Support. Ya call Tech Support to help you with your tech. If you're not WITH the tech, then we can't support it. Calling me from your car and telling me that your "internet don't be workin'..." is POINTLESS. You can't answer any questions for me AT THAT MOMENT. If I need to know what color a certain light is, whether something shows on your screen or not, or whether a wire is plugged into one place or another.. .I need to know what it is at... that... moment. Not what it was like when you left the house that morning or 2 hours ago or even the last time you called in. So calling tech support while driving your kid to soccer practice is just dumb. Also, calling me 10 minutes before you have GOT to leave to go get your kids or attend an important meeting at work to tell me that ALL of your services are down is probably not the best idea when a problem like that takes a minimum of 15 to 20 minutes to take care of. If ya don't have the time - don't pay the dime! (Yeah, I know it costs more than that now, but I needed a word that rhymes, dammit!) Don't be THAT guy that calls me, tells me (in a deep southern twang to boot) that his TV that HE didn't order, but his wife felt they needed, isn't working and that I need to fix it... and then tell me, when it's taking longer than a wave of my magical Tech Support Wand, that you don't have TIME to deal with it because you have to go fix a TAR (that's Southern twang for tire) right now. Don't be that guy!
Okay, dear readers... enough spewage for this entry...
Until next time!
Lis
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